Browsing CategoryDiscipline

Why Me?

Before another uninhibited deep dive into my neurosis, I want to preface with the purpose of why I am doing so: I have identified that one of my children is much harder for me to parent because they are so much like me. So at surface level that means they are strong-willed, indignant, dance to the beat of their own drum, want what they want when they want it, usually choose the path most cheeky, etc. All of which can be hard to parent at times but also amusing at others and essentially we try to celebrate the gift of…

How To Celebrate The Gift Of The Strong-Willed Child

“Strong-willed children often grow into strong-willed adults who become world leaders, world shapers and world changers. Parenting them peacefully is not only possible, it’s imperative because sowing peace in their hearts now when they’re in our care will grow a future of peace later when the world is in their care.” – L R Knost Despite whatever unique challenges our children throw our way on a daily basis, we all adore them. Most of us can identify with that heart-bursting, unconditional love that comes along with this little person you’ve created. We know we should “cherish every moment” and there’s…

The Worst Thing I Ever Did

I’ve gone on and on about Listening Time but I haven’t really gone into all the options for it (maybe a future post). One that I had heard of was connecting with what was happening in your life when you were your child’s age. Now I am very holistic and I love all things within that realm. I love a lot of people who work within that realm too but there’s also a skeptic in me (maybe also my husband’s influence) and I don’t love her voice but sometimes it gets very loud! So I have found myself feeling a…

I Don’t Want To Be An Expert (In My Own Home)

Recently I reached out to my beautiful tribe for a topic suggestion or a Q&A and got a little more than I bargained for. My reaction to the Q&A question was an immediate cringe, a guffaw and then a “How the heck am I gonna answer this one?”. The issue being that I struggle with the same thing! This blogging is a vulnerable business and even worse is me trying to label myself an *hushed whisper* “expert” I periodically find myself avoiding that word but also struggling for another accurate one and questioning myself big-time. I mean what right do…

Roughhousing

Hmm… you know the old “Do as I say, not as I do?”… I can be a bit guilty of that one! See, it’s been a long time since I was introduced to and began to fully understand the value of roughhousing. Since then I have been a strong advocate and it’s one of the first tools I recommend to parents asking for help with behavioural issues (particularly aggression) but recently I stopped focusing on it in my own home. I had excuses (don’t we always) – “Not enough time!”, “My son does this in his Special Time, anyway!”, “Not…

Kids These Days!

I was recently privy to a conversation about “Kids these days…” and I found myself frozen and unable to sort my thoughts into that fine line between sounding judgmental and being a good advocate for little people. So instead I said nothing and felt rather crappy afterwards. It’s something we’ve heard a million times, right? That admonishing of “Kids these days!” Maybe some of you have even said it yourself. The implication is, of course, that parents these days are too permissive and too lenient and now we have these disrespectful, rude, uncontrollable little brats bound for a life of…

Peaceful Parenting for Non-Peaceful People

I am quite a volatile person. I used to take a lot of pride in this but now it’s a daily tide I have to swim against. I am only 5’2’’ so perhaps it’s a mixture of small person syndrome and having a fierce and wonderful firecracker as my greatest heroine and role model (also known as my Mum) but I always wanted to leave that “Oh, don’t mess with her!” impression. I have always been great with kids and had a very strong connection to them so when I came across Peaceful Parenting, it sat beautifully with me and…

What is Staylistening?

“Sshh” “Don’t cry!” “You’re alright, buddy!” “That’s enough now!” “Come on… it’s not THAT bad!” “Chin up!” “Where’s that big smile?” “I’ll give you something to cry about!” Have you ever heard any of these? Ever said any of these? That’s OK… but I’m going to ask you now to try and stop. It turns out that crying is actually a good way of healing ourselves and that the people who know best what they need in terms of emotional offloading and stress-relief are our children. They come into this world with a very simple mechanism for offloading their stress…

What Does Progress Look Like?

It’s really important to remember that children are always going to be led off-track. There are dysregulating experiences they face every day even if (and this is incredibly unlikely) both you and them have healed every earlier trauma/hurt you’ve experienced. Any activities outside the home (especially day care or school) will most likely cause them to experience social strain, witness or be privy to name calling or physical hurts, as well as any number of small confusions or painful interactions which add to a larger sense of uneasiness. I’m by no means suggesting we bubble-wrap our kids, I am just…

Taming The Tantrum

You’re in the supermarket and (despite the promise you make to yourself EVERY. DARN. TIME.) you have a child with you. It’s gone as well as could be expected. You’ve only said “No” 20 billion times and it’s been handled reasonably well. Then you see it but not before they’ve seen it too… in it’s characteristic red and white foil, right near the finish line… (completely intentional, of course) and Little One has grabbed it and even before the “No” comes out, they have started the tirade of insults and complaints and your face has already shown them the answer…