Browsing CategoryEmotional Release

What Does Progress Look Like?

It’s really important to remember that children are always going to be led off-track. There are dysregulating experiences they face every day even if (and this is incredibly unlikely) both you and them have healed every earlier trauma/hurt you’ve experienced. Any activities outside the home (especially day care or school) will most likely cause them to experience social strain, witness or be privy to name calling or physical hurts, as well as any number of small confusions or painful interactions which add to a larger sense of uneasiness. I’m by no means suggesting we bubble-wrap our kids, I am just…

Attention Seeking Behaviour

One of those things you hear so often is “They’re just doing it for attention!” So what should you do with attention seeking behaviour as a parent? Well, this will be a really short article because the answer is to simply give it to them! AND be glad your child is so efficient in communicating their need. It may feel frustrating but it is actually incredibly helpful and emotionally intelligent of your child to send a clear signal that they are feeling off-track. Off-track behaviour is always a signal and as you become more and more of an empathic parent,…

Taming The Tantrum

You’re in the supermarket and (despite the promise you make to yourself EVERY. DARN. TIME.) you have a child with you. It’s gone as well as could be expected. You’ve only said “No” 20 billion times and it’s been handled reasonably well. Then you see it but not before they’ve seen it too… in it’s characteristic red and white foil, right near the finish line… (completely intentional, of course) and Little One has grabbed it and even before the “No” comes out, they have started the tirade of insults and complaints and your face has already shown them the answer…

What Is A Listening Partner?

If you’ve been following my stuff (yay! and thank you) then you will have heard me harp on and on about a Listening Partnership and getting Listening Time. So what is it and why is it so important? The Listening Partnership was invented by Patty Wipfler of Hand In Hand Parenting (and author of Listen) whose Parenting by Connection approach is centred around 5 tools: 1. Setting Limits 2. Staylistening 3. Playlistening 4. Special Time 5. Listening Partnerships The other 4 are mostly child-centric but the 5th is born of the underlying fact that parenting requires good support and that…

Q & A: Aggressive Play

Question: I have a 3 year old, 17 month old and number 3 is due in 3 months…. My 3 year old tends to have outbursts and act like a dinosaur and attack his cousins and sister… He’s always roaring like a dinosaur.. We’ve taken all dinosaurs away and he still keeps going. He head butts his cousins and sister too like a dinosaur would! Is this normal? Answer: Whoa!! Busy household!! That must be tough at times? Children under 3 have negligible amounts of impulse control and it (very) slowly develops as they grow older. They used to say…

Q & A: The Thrower

Question: Jack has just passed one and a half, will be two in early May. He is starting to throw things around the house for fun and sometimes when he is upset or angry, he throws things. Like once when he wanted to open the door to the house with the key but I had to do it because he couldn’t he cried and then proceeded to pull every single shoe off our shoe rack and throw them to the ground. It seems to give him some satisfaction, but I worry about the aggression. Last night my partner stopped him pouring…

Pretext and the Big Metal Pole

I was recently at a parenting workshop with Dr Larry Cohen (more on that amazing experience when I feel like my feet have come back to touch the ground) and a story came to me. When I was around 15 I was babysitting for two kids I had never met and the little boy who must have been around 6 started chasing me with a huge metal pole. I have no idea how I diffused the situation but I remember as I was putting him to bed (I didn’t run out screaming, apparently) he suddenly burst into tears and said…