Browsing CategoryHand In Hand Parenting

Flipping The Sibling Script

Siblings… argh!!!!!! The most disruptive thing I ever did to my household was add another child. Don’t get me wrong, this child makes my heart sing and I wouldn’t trade our reality for the world but a whole heap of problems came along from that moment. And I was naively unprepared. I did all those fluffy things like letting my firstborn play pregnant too and have their own baby, get the baby to give the firstborn a special present, read lots of books, etc. But then the baby came along and in another naive move I got excited at the…

On Losing and Failing

The main aim in this game for everyone seems to be to become a relatively “good parent” with the view of that then aiding our own kids in becoming happy, well-adjusted, loving and loveable humans. Right?! It’s an awful lot of pressure… right?! Sometimes it seems an unobtainable goal. And sometimes it seems like the most important thing you will ever do. And it IS. Which IS an AWFUL LOT OF PRESSURE! And sometimes it feels like you’re drowning… Sometimes it feels like you’re collapsing under the weight and the pressure. I’M collapsing under the weight and the pressure. And…

Back To School

So… I haven’t written in ages!!! Life got in the way. I found myself busy with so many different things and then the 6 weeks of school holidays came along and I was realistic about the reality there was no way I would get anything done! So here we are… back to school… Gosh! That means so many things for so many people. For me it means a much quieter house, lunches (oh how I hate lunches), alarms AND I-should-be-homeschooling GUILT! But jumping off on that last bit… I do also feel some relief (oh, no that brings more guilt…

Getting The Support You Deserve

As parents we are under-supported. No matter what wonderful systems you might have going we still don’t have enough financial support, physical support, mental and emotional support, etc. We could all do with a lot more help and the most important thing to realise and accept right now is that IT IS OK TO FEEL THAT WAY! We were meant to be raising children in villages, not in this fast-paced modern world (whilst trying to keep up with the Joneses). The cornerstone of good support may be the subject of an eye-roll from my regular readers… it is (you guessed…

My Child Won’t Talk To Me!

“Hey… how was your day?” “Good…” “What did you get up to?” “Stuff…” “Who did you play with?” “I dunno…” Sound familiar? Parents come from all walks of life and have many differing ideas when it comes to parenting and how it should be done but there are a few common themes. We all basically want the best for our children (as wide and varied as that may look) and we want to have open communication with them. We know that’s one of the best assurances to their well-being, knowing they can talk to us about anything BUT (as we…

7 Saves When It’s All Too Much

My mental health became far more manageable once I realised (through parenting) the value of understanding, welcoming, celebrating and accepting all emotions. I used to feel like there was something wrong with me when I didn’t feel “happy” or “grateful” or wasn’t “enjoying every precious moment” with my children. Now I realise that there are many factors which can impact my mood and the mood of those around me and I know that for the most part as long as I acknowledge what I’m feeling, sit with it if need be, seek support to release it if necessary, then “this…

From Rupture To Repair

In my humble opinion there is almost nothing more important to role model to our kids than how to make a good repair. For our children to witness us owning up to our mistakes and connecting and empathising with how this has impacted any other human beings, is one of the greatest gifts we can give them. This is not always an easy thing. I know my issues surrounding apologising are lifelong. “Sorry” was a bit of a dirty word growing up. No one ever wanted to admit they were wrong. No one ever wanted to be that vulnerable and…

But I Don’t Want To Do Special Time!

There are two tools I almost always recommend for behavioural challenges, those being Listening Time and Special Time. We know we can’t pour from an empty cup. Special Time is a brilliant tool in which you connect with your child turning off/removing all distractions, making loads of eye contact, suspending rules, being wholeheartedly led and just delighting in your child. This is a really easy way to fill a child’s cup and let them know that they are uniquely special and loved. Whilst Listening Time is a great way to fill a parent’s cup and/or emptying out any liquid that…

SOS or Spoiled Outing Syndrome

What’s the deal with kids? You have the most amazing time with them and instead of just saying “Thanks, you guys are the best parents ever!”, they start to whinge or complain or even totally meltdown? Ok, parents and carers, prepare yourselves to breathe a huge sigh of relief that this is a legit, bona-fide, world-recognised thing and not just a special breed of heinous your own kids have conjured up! Hand In Hand Parenting call this phenomenon “Spoiled Outing Syndrome”. My kids have just started the school year and I know this means intense meltdowns and off-track behaviour due…

My Name Is Chantal… and I’m a Control Freak

Hi, my name is Chantal and I’m a control freak! Before I actually became a parent myself, I was God’s gift to parenting! MY kids were gonna be GREAT sleepers (I just wouldn’t give them any other choice, darling), they were going to eat only the healthiest foods (it’s all about making sure they never know there’s any other option), they were gonna be incredibly polite and well-behaved (you just have to set very clear boundaries). I mean, hello?! I was a brilliant nanny and that’s pretty much the same thing, right?! Hahahahahahahaha!!!! Anyway, we all know how that turned…