Browsing CategoryHand In Hand Parenting

Getting The Support You Deserve

As parents we are under-supported. No matter what wonderful systems you might have going we still don’t have enough financial support, physical support, mental and emotional support, etc. We could all do with a lot more help and the most important thing to realise and accept right now is that IT IS OK TO FEEL THAT WAY! We were meant to be raising children in villages, not in this fast-paced modern world (whilst trying to keep up with the Joneses). The cornerstone of good support may be the subject of an eye-roll from my regular readers… it is (you guessed…

My Child Won’t Talk To Me!

“Hey… how was your day?” “Good…” “What did you get up to?” “Stuff…” “Who did you play with?” “I dunno…” Sound familiar? Parents come from all walks of life and have many differing ideas when it comes to parenting and how it should be done but there are a few common themes. We all basically want the best for our children (as wide and varied as that may look) and we want to have open communication with them. We know that’s one of the best assurances to their well-being, knowing they can talk to us about anything BUT (as we…

7 Saves When It’s All Too Much

My mental health became far more manageable once I realised (through parenting) the value of understanding, welcoming, celebrating and accepting all emotions. I used to feel like there was something wrong with me when I didn’t feel “happy” or “grateful” or wasn’t “enjoying every precious moment” with my children. Now I realise that there are many factors which can impact my mood and the mood of those around me and I know that for the most part as long as I acknowledge what I’m feeling, sit with it if need be, seek support to release it if necessary, then “this…

From Rupture To Repair

In my humble opinion there is almost nothing more important to role model to our kids than how to make a good repair. For our children to witness us owning up to our mistakes and connecting and empathising with how this has impacted any other human beings, is one of the greatest gifts we can give them. This is not always an easy thing. I know my issues surrounding apologising are lifelong. “Sorry” was a bit of a dirty word growing up. No one ever wanted to admit they were wrong. No one ever wanted to be that vulnerable and…

But I Don’t Want To Do Special Time!

There are two tools I almost always recommend for behavioural challenges, those being Listening Time and Special Time. We know we can’t pour from an empty cup. Special Time is a brilliant tool in which you connect with your child turning off/removing all distractions, making loads of eye contact, suspending rules, being wholeheartedly led and just delighting in your child. This is a really easy way to fill a child’s cup and let them know that they are uniquely special and loved. Whilst Listening Time is a great way to fill a parent’s cup and/or emptying out any liquid that…

SOS or Spoiled Outing Syndrome

What’s the deal with kids? You have the most amazing time with them and instead of just saying “Thanks, you guys are the best parents ever!”, they start to whinge or complain or even totally meltdown? Ok, parents and carers, prepare yourselves to breathe a huge sigh of relief that this is a legit, bona-fide, world-recognised thing and not just a special breed of heinous your own kids have conjured up! Hand In Hand Parenting call this phenomenon “Spoiled Outing Syndrome”. My kids have just started the school year and I know this means intense meltdowns and off-track behaviour due…

My Name Is Chantal… and I’m a Control Freak

Hi, my name is Chantal and I’m a control freak! Before I actually became a parent myself, I was God’s gift to parenting! MY kids were gonna be GREAT sleepers (I just wouldn’t give them any other choice, darling), they were going to eat only the healthiest foods (it’s all about making sure they never know there’s any other option), they were gonna be incredibly polite and well-behaved (you just have to set very clear boundaries). I mean, hello?! I was a brilliant nanny and that’s pretty much the same thing, right?! Hahahahahahahaha!!!! Anyway, we all know how that turned…

Listen To Your Heart

I love how well-equipped children arrive to us. We have this societal view that it’s up to us to teach children all these things, that we need to train them, to get them educated, etc but the reality is they come to us with all the important things in place. Most of what we teach and drill into them is, again, more about society than what is important. The reality is we have a heck lot to learn from children. Thankfully, psychology (and hopefully most psychologists) have begun understanding the value of emotions. This is where I think children are…

How To Celebrate The Gift Of The Strong-Willed Child

“Strong-willed children often grow into strong-willed adults who become world leaders, world shapers and world changers. Parenting them peacefully is not only possible, it’s imperative because sowing peace in their hearts now when they’re in our care will grow a future of peace later when the world is in their care.” – L R Knost Despite whatever unique challenges our children throw our way on a daily basis, we all adore them. Most of us can identify with that heart-bursting, unconditional love that comes along with this little person you’ve created. We know we should “cherish every moment” and there’s…

Ok, So Now You Got Me Listening…

Listening Time is a concept that Patty Wipfler, founder of Hand In Hand Parenting has made a worldwide phenomenon. Basically, you find another adult to exchange non-judgemental, non-prescriptive, no-advice Listening Time with on a regular basis. I’ve covered this concept and how to find a partner here but there are so many directions in which to take this, so I’m going to outline some examples. The benefit of Listening Time is that we all have thoughts that need to be heard by an attentive ear and sometimes we have thoughts that we’d like to let go of, thoughts that are…