Browsing CategoryLove

From Rupture To Repair

In my humble opinion there is almost nothing more important to role model to our kids than how to make a good repair. For our children to witness us owning up to our mistakes and connecting and empathising with how this has impacted any other human beings, is one of the greatest gifts we can give them. This is not always an easy thing. I know my issues surrounding apologising are lifelong. “Sorry” was a bit of a dirty word growing up. No one ever wanted to admit they were wrong. No one ever wanted to be that vulnerable and…

But I Don’t Want To Do Special Time!

There are two tools I almost always recommend for behavioural challenges, those being Listening Time and Special Time. We know we can’t pour from an empty cup. Special Time is a brilliant tool in which you connect with your child turning off/removing all distractions, making loads of eye contact, suspending rules, being wholeheartedly led and just delighting in your child. This is a really easy way to fill a child’s cup and let them know that they are uniquely special and loved. Whilst Listening Time is a great way to fill a parent’s cup and/or emptying out any liquid that…

SOS or Spoiled Outing Syndrome

What’s the deal with kids? You have the most amazing time with them and instead of just saying “Thanks, you guys are the best parents ever!”, they start to whinge or complain or even totally meltdown? Ok, parents and carers, prepare yourselves to breathe a huge sigh of relief that this is a legit, bona-fide, world-recognised thing and not just a special breed of heinous your own kids have conjured up! Hand In Hand Parenting call this phenomenon “Spoiled Outing Syndrome”. My kids have just started the school year and I know this means intense meltdowns and off-track behaviour due…

Can I Be Sh*t Today?

In this moment I feel low and lethargic and I don’t have the energy or the motivation to do anything. That’s ok… those feelings don’t stress me out like they used to. I know that the wave will pass and something better (or worse) will come in its place but I can get out, I won’t be stuck here. But then I have to parent. I have two little humans who will allow me to be crappy and crabby for brief periods but then they will demand more. I will demand more. So I want to take a little moment…

My Name Is Chantal… and I’m a Control Freak

Hi, my name is Chantal and I’m a control freak! Before I actually became a parent myself, I was God’s gift to parenting! MY kids were gonna be GREAT sleepers (I just wouldn’t give them any other choice, darling), they were going to eat only the healthiest foods (it’s all about making sure they never know there’s any other option), they were gonna be incredibly polite and well-behaved (you just have to set very clear boundaries). I mean, hello?! I was a brilliant nanny and that’s pretty much the same thing, right?! Hahahahahahahaha!!!! Anyway, we all know how that turned…

It Still Hurts

Something happened to me yesterday and I knew this post would have to come and I knew all day today that I would find the time to write it but as that time crept closer, I felt myself trying to find the excuses. Trying to give myself an out. There are a number of posts I can (and probably will) write about my insecurities, how they were manifested, how they’ve played out, where I place the blame and how I need to work on freeing it. The colour of my skin hasn’t felt like such a big one of those…

Thank You and Happy New Year!

Well.. it’s the last day of 2017 and globally it was a pretty horrendous year. There was much needless suffering and pain caused out there in the world at large and the small wins weren’t enough to balance those! I think most of us are more than happy to wash this year off and start again. I know I will certainly be setting some strong intentions for the new year coming. But on a personal level. This was my first full year of blogging. My goal was to produce an article a week and I stuck to that pretty well,…

Listen To Your Heart

I love how well-equipped children arrive to us. We have this societal view that it’s up to us to teach children all these things, that we need to train them, to get them educated, etc but the reality is they come to us with all the important things in place. Most of what we teach and drill into them is, again, more about society than what is important. The reality is we have a heck lot to learn from children. Thankfully, psychology (and hopefully most psychologists) have begun understanding the value of emotions. This is where I think children are…

NOT Guilty!

Today we were meant to go away so my husband had taken a leave day and kept it when our plans changed. With both kids at school, we unexpectedly have a whole day together. We had initially planned to do some super responsible things but I spent most of the night back and forth with my youngest and my husband had been off sick this week so we decided to “take it easy”. OMG!!! That concept is just SO HARD! As a parent, my “day off” is supposed to be super productive (and it usually is). So the idea of…

Why Me?

Before another uninhibited deep dive into my neurosis, I want to preface with the purpose of why I am doing so: I have identified that one of my children is much harder for me to parent because they are so much like me. So at surface level that means they are strong-willed, indignant, dance to the beat of their own drum, want what they want when they want it, usually choose the path most cheeky, etc. All of which can be hard to parent at times but also amusing at others and essentially we try to celebrate the gift of…