Browsing CategoryParenting Pressures

What Does Progress Look Like?

It’s really important to remember that children are always going to be led off-track. There are dysregulating experiences they face every day even if (and this is incredibly unlikely) both you and them have healed every earlier trauma/hurt you’ve experienced. Any activities outside the home (especially day care or school) will most likely cause them to experience social strain, witness or be privy to name calling or physical hurts, as well as any number of small confusions or painful interactions which add to a larger sense of uneasiness. I’m by no means suggesting we bubble-wrap our kids, I am just…

Taming The Tantrum

You’re in the supermarket and (despite the promise you make to yourself EVERY. DARN. TIME.) you have a child with you. It’s gone as well as could be expected. You’ve only said “No” 20 billion times and it’s been handled reasonably well. Then you see it but not before they’ve seen it too… in it’s characteristic red and white foil, right near the finish line… (completely intentional, of course) and Little One has grabbed it and even before the “No” comes out, they have started the tirade of insults and complaints and your face has already shown them the answer…

What Is A Listening Partner?

If you’ve been following my stuff (yay! and thank you) then you will have heard me harp on and on about a Listening Partnership and getting Listening Time. So what is it and why is it so important? The Listening Partnership was invented by Patty Wipfler of Hand In Hand Parenting (and author of Listen) whose Parenting by Connection approach is centred around 5 tools: 1. Setting Limits 2. Staylistening 3. Playlistening 4. Special Time 5. Listening Partnerships The other 4 are mostly child-centric but the 5th is born of the underlying fact that parenting requires good support and that…

7 EASY Ways To Become A More Empathic Parent

1. Start journaling your parenting experience Writing things down can help you on a number of different levels, one of which is diffusing the situation and often putting your thoughts into words helps you find clarity. It’s also quite cathartic! 2. Come up with some mantras In the heat of the moment one of the best things we can do is take a pause. A physical action like jumping or shaking can help and repeating a mantra such as “My child is not a problem, my child is having a problem.” Or “This is not an emergency…” (as our limbic…

13 Reasons Why: Not Another Teen Drama

NB: As I was writing this post in my head, I had decided to put it somewhere else as I felt too vulnerable and exposed with the idea of putting it on this page with my normal content. As it transpired, I changed my mind as I still feel it’s somewhat of a parenting post even if it covers some controversial topics and some personal information. [UPDATE: I have just watched the “Beyond The Reasons” special and I highly recommend everyone watch that too to really process what they intended.] I hate spoilers. I prefer to go into something with…

Why You Shouldn’t Smack Your Kids

NB: I was initially commissioned to write under this title for Petite Bebe blog a few years ago so my children’s ages have changed but the sentiment remains the same. I think we’ve all seen that meme that says something along the lines of “I was smacked and I have something called respect for others!” and after seeing it for the umpteenth time I decided to take a breath and really reflect on how I think smacking DID affect me. I try to practice Peaceful/Gentle/Positive Parenting and I have found in a lot of different forums that people have often…

Bullying: Be The Change!

Most of us are in agreement that we don’t want our kids to bully or be bullied. Bullying can be deadly and sadly we hear more and more stories about this all the time. If the school your child is at doesn’t have a very clear stance on managing bullying, then that needs to be addressed immediately. However, whilst most schools profess to this on paper, often they are not helpful in practice. I feel this has a lot to do with the punitive nature of school systems often being counter-productive to the cause and also the fact that bullying…

Find Your Tribe

Recent events make it more important than ever to find the best aspects of human nature. I’ve talked before about how important it is to Build A Village. I think people (parents particularly) think it’s a weakness to ask for help or show an inability to cope but there is so much unnecessary suffering that comes from a lack of support and there is so much magic that comes from finding your tribe! Last week my week consisted of child-swaps with close friends, shared dinners, play-dates, empathy group and helping each other out in different ways all whilst discussing parenting,…

I am NOT Perfect!

Ok… Confession time! I am NOT perfect… There it is. I won’t say it again because I try not to say it too often. The fact of the matter is before I got this gig I was only human and now that I have it, that fact still remains. I have good days and bad days, highs and lows, good moods and… well… I think I’ve already said too much! I’m only telling you this because I trust you. I trust you to hear the confession, not to comment and to store it away for when you need it. For…