Browsing CategoryParenting

What Is A Listening Partner?

If you’ve been following my stuff (yay! and thank you) then you will have heard me harp on and on about a Listening Partnership and getting Listening Time. So what is it and why is it so important? The Listening Partnership was invented by Patty Wipfler of Hand In Hand Parenting (and author of Listen) whose Parenting by Connection approach is centred around 5 tools: 1. Setting Limits 2. Staylistening 3. Playlistening 4. Special Time 5. Listening Partnerships The other 4 are mostly child-centric but the 5th is born of the underlying fact that parenting requires good support and that…

7 EASY Ways To Become A More Empathic Parent

1. Start journaling your parenting experience Writing things down can help you on a number of different levels, one of which is diffusing the situation and often putting your thoughts into words helps you find clarity. It’s also quite cathartic! 2. Come up with some mantras In the heat of the moment one of the best things we can do is take a pause. A physical action like jumping or shaking can help and repeating a mantra such as “My child is not a problem, my child is having a problem.” Or “This is not an emergency…” (as our limbic…

Q & A: Aggressive Play

Question: I have a 3 year old, 17 month old and number 3 is due in 3 months…. My 3 year old tends to have outbursts and act like a dinosaur and attack his cousins and sister… He’s always roaring like a dinosaur.. We’ve taken all dinosaurs away and he still keeps going. He head butts his cousins and sister too like a dinosaur would! Is this normal? Answer: Whoa!! Busy household!! That must be tough at times? Children under 3 have negligible amounts of impulse control and it (very) slowly develops as they grow older. They used to say…

13 Reasons Why: Not Another Teen Drama

NB: As I was writing this post in my head, I had decided to put it somewhere else as I felt too vulnerable and exposed with the idea of putting it on this page with my normal content. As it transpired, I changed my mind as I still feel it’s somewhat of a parenting post even if it covers some controversial topics and some personal information. [UPDATE: I have just watched the “Beyond The Reasons” special and I highly recommend everyone watch that too to really process what they intended.] I hate spoilers. I prefer to go into something with…

Why You Shouldn’t Smack Your Kids

NB: I was initially commissioned to write under this title for Petite Bebe blog a few years ago so my children’s ages have changed but the sentiment remains the same. I think we’ve all seen that meme that says something along the lines of “I was smacked and I have something called respect for others!” and after seeing it for the umpteenth time I decided to take a breath and really reflect on how I think smacking DID affect me. I try to practice Peaceful/Gentle/Positive Parenting and I have found in a lot of different forums that people have often…

Bullying: Be The Change!

Most of us are in agreement that we don’t want our kids to bully or be bullied. Bullying can be deadly and sadly we hear more and more stories about this all the time. If the school your child is at doesn’t have a very clear stance on managing bullying, then that needs to be addressed immediately. However, whilst most schools profess to this on paper, often they are not helpful in practice. I feel this has a lot to do with the punitive nature of school systems often being counter-productive to the cause and also the fact that bullying…

Q & A: The Thrower

Question: Jack has just passed one and a half, will be two in early May. He is starting to throw things around the house for fun and sometimes when he is upset or angry, he throws things. Like once when he wanted to open the door to the house with the key but I had to do it because he couldn’t he cried and then proceeded to pull every single shoe off our shoe rack and throw them to the ground. It seems to give him some satisfaction, but I worry about the aggression. Last night my partner stopped him pouring…

Find Your Tribe

Recent events make it more important than ever to find the best aspects of human nature. I’ve talked before about how important it is to Build A Village. I think people (parents particularly) think it’s a weakness to ask for help or show an inability to cope but there is so much unnecessary suffering that comes from a lack of support and there is so much magic that comes from finding your tribe! Last week my week consisted of child-swaps with close friends, shared dinners, play-dates, empathy group and helping each other out in different ways all whilst discussing parenting,…

I am NOT Perfect!

Ok… Confession time! I am NOT perfect… There it is. I won’t say it again because I try not to say it too often. The fact of the matter is before I got this gig I was only human and now that I have it, that fact still remains. I have good days and bad days, highs and lows, good moods and… well… I think I’ve already said too much! I’m only telling you this because I trust you. I trust you to hear the confession, not to comment and to store it away for when you need it. For…

Q & A – 18MO Separation Anxiety away from Mum

Question: Hi Aunty I have a question I hope you have some advice for. Zach* is approaching 18 months and has always been very attached to me (as he should be) and over the last month or so has been rejecting Dean when I am around. When they have time alone, they get along perfectly, but as soon as I am there Zach will only be with me, shakes his head at Dean constantly and gets very very upset when Dean tries to help me by carrying Zach and when I leave the room, or sometimes even his immediate presence…