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7 Saves When It’s All Too Much

My mental health became far more manageable once I realised (through parenting) the value of understanding, welcoming, celebrating and accepting all emotions. I used to feel like there was something wrong with me when I didn’t feel “happy” or “grateful” or wasn’t “enjoying every precious moment” with my children. Now I realise that there are many factors which can impact my mood and the mood of those around me and I know that for the most part as long as I acknowledge what I’m feeling, sit with it if need be, seek support to release it if necessary, then “this…

But I Don’t Want To Do Special Time!

There are two tools I almost always recommend for behavioural challenges, those being Listening Time and Special Time. We know we can’t pour from an empty cup. Special Time is a brilliant tool in which you connect with your child turning off/removing all distractions, making loads of eye contact, suspending rules, being wholeheartedly led and just delighting in your child. This is a really easy way to fill a child’s cup and let them know that they are uniquely special and loved. Whilst Listening Time is a great way to fill a parent’s cup and/or emptying out any liquid that…

My Name Is Chantal… and I’m a Control Freak

Hi, my name is Chantal and I’m a control freak! Before I actually became a parent myself, I was God’s gift to parenting! MY kids were gonna be GREAT sleepers (I just wouldn’t give them any other choice, darling), they were going to eat only the healthiest foods (it’s all about making sure they never know there’s any other option), they were gonna be incredibly polite and well-behaved (you just have to set very clear boundaries). I mean, hello?! I was a brilliant nanny and that’s pretty much the same thing, right?! Hahahahahahahaha!!!! Anyway, we all know how that turned…

It Still Hurts

Something happened to me yesterday and I knew this post would have to come and I knew all day today that I would find the time to write it but as that time crept closer, I felt myself trying to find the excuses. Trying to give myself an out. There are a number of posts I can (and probably will) write about my insecurities, how they were manifested, how they’ve played out, where I place the blame and how I need to work on freeing it. The colour of my skin hasn’t felt like such a big one of those…

NOT Guilty!

Today we were meant to go away so my husband had taken a leave day and kept it when our plans changed. With both kids at school, we unexpectedly have a whole day together. We had initially planned to do some super responsible things but I spent most of the night back and forth with my youngest and my husband had been off sick this week so we decided to “take it easy”. OMG!!! That concept is just SO HARD! As a parent, my “day off” is supposed to be super productive (and it usually is). So the idea of…

Why Me?

Before another uninhibited deep dive into my neurosis, I want to preface with the purpose of why I am doing so: I have identified that one of my children is much harder for me to parent because they are so much like me. So at surface level that means they are strong-willed, indignant, dance to the beat of their own drum, want what they want when they want it, usually choose the path most cheeky, etc. All of which can be hard to parent at times but also amusing at others and essentially we try to celebrate the gift of…

Ok, So Now You Got Me Listening…

Listening Time is a concept that Patty Wipfler, founder of Hand In Hand Parenting has made a worldwide phenomenon. Basically, you find another adult to exchange non-judgemental, non-prescriptive, no-advice Listening Time with on a regular basis. I’ve covered this concept and how to find a partner here but there are so many directions in which to take this, so I’m going to outline some examples. The benefit of Listening Time is that we all have thoughts that need to be heard by an attentive ear and sometimes we have thoughts that we’d like to let go of, thoughts that are…

The Worst Thing I Ever Did

I’ve gone on and on about Listening Time but I haven’t really gone into all the options for it (maybe a future post). One that I had heard of was connecting with what was happening in your life when you were your child’s age. Now I am very holistic and I love all things within that realm. I love a lot of people who work within that realm too but there’s also a skeptic in me (maybe also my husband’s influence) and I don’t love her voice but sometimes it gets very loud! So I have found myself feeling a…

I Don’t Want To Be An Expert (In My Own Home)

Recently I reached out to my beautiful tribe for a topic suggestion or a Q&A and got a little more than I bargained for. My reaction to the Q&A question was an immediate cringe, a guffaw and then a “How the heck am I gonna answer this one?”. The issue being that I struggle with the same thing! This blogging is a vulnerable business and even worse is me trying to label myself an *hushed whisper* “expert” I periodically find myself avoiding that word but also struggling for another accurate one and questioning myself big-time. I mean what right do…

Q & A: Parenting as a Partnership

Question: One thing that I need advice on is working better as a team with James. Because I spend the most time with Liam, I have ways that I do things, and I find when he is around that I tell him what to do a lot, and that makes him feel bad/inadequate/judged/not appreciated. I certainly don’t mean for him to feel that way, but I feel that unless he has a specific reason or particularly strong feeling for doing something a different way, he should respect that I have developed strong routines based on research and much time and…