Browsing CategorySelf Care

Getting The Support You Deserve

As parents we are under-supported. No matter what wonderful systems you might have going we still don’t have enough financial support, physical support, mental and emotional support, etc. We could all do with a lot more help and the most important thing to realise and accept right now is that IT IS OK TO FEEL THAT WAY! We were meant to be raising children in villages, not in this fast-paced modern world (whilst trying to keep up with the Joneses). The cornerstone of good support may be the subject of an eye-roll from my regular readers… it is (you guessed…

7 Saves When It’s All Too Much

My mental health became far more manageable once I realised (through parenting) the value of understanding, welcoming, celebrating and accepting all emotions. I used to feel like there was something wrong with me when I didn’t feel “happy” or “grateful” or wasn’t “enjoying every precious moment” with my children. Now I realise that there are many factors which can impact my mood and the mood of those around me and I know that for the most part as long as I acknowledge what I’m feeling, sit with it if need be, seek support to release it if necessary, then “this…

From Rupture To Repair

In my humble opinion there is almost nothing more important to role model to our kids than how to make a good repair. For our children to witness us owning up to our mistakes and connecting and empathising with how this has impacted any other human beings, is one of the greatest gifts we can give them. This is not always an easy thing. I know my issues surrounding apologising are lifelong. “Sorry” was a bit of a dirty word growing up. No one ever wanted to admit they were wrong. No one ever wanted to be that vulnerable and…

But I Don’t Want To Do Special Time!

There are two tools I almost always recommend for behavioural challenges, those being Listening Time and Special Time. We know we can’t pour from an empty cup. Special Time is a brilliant tool in which you connect with your child turning off/removing all distractions, making loads of eye contact, suspending rules, being wholeheartedly led and just delighting in your child. This is a really easy way to fill a child’s cup and let them know that they are uniquely special and loved. Whilst Listening Time is a great way to fill a parent’s cup and/or emptying out any liquid that…

Can I Be Sh*t Today?

In this moment I feel low and lethargic and I don’t have the energy or the motivation to do anything. That’s ok… those feelings don’t stress me out like they used to. I know that the wave will pass and something better (or worse) will come in its place but I can get out, I won’t be stuck here. But then I have to parent. I have two little humans who will allow me to be crappy and crabby for brief periods but then they will demand more. I will demand more. So I want to take a little moment…

It Still Hurts

Something happened to me yesterday and I knew this post would have to come and I knew all day today that I would find the time to write it but as that time crept closer, I felt myself trying to find the excuses. Trying to give myself an out. There are a number of posts I can (and probably will) write about my insecurities, how they were manifested, how they’ve played out, where I place the blame and how I need to work on freeing it. The colour of my skin hasn’t felt like such a big one of those…

Listen To Your Heart

I love how well-equipped children arrive to us. We have this societal view that it’s up to us to teach children all these things, that we need to train them, to get them educated, etc but the reality is they come to us with all the important things in place. Most of what we teach and drill into them is, again, more about society than what is important. The reality is we have a heck lot to learn from children. Thankfully, psychology (and hopefully most psychologists) have begun understanding the value of emotions. This is where I think children are…

NOT Guilty!

Today we were meant to go away so my husband had taken a leave day and kept it when our plans changed. With both kids at school, we unexpectedly have a whole day together. We had initially planned to do some super responsible things but I spent most of the night back and forth with my youngest and my husband had been off sick this week so we decided to “take it easy”. OMG!!! That concept is just SO HARD! As a parent, my “day off” is supposed to be super productive (and it usually is). So the idea of…

Why Me?

Before another uninhibited deep dive into my neurosis, I want to preface with the purpose of why I am doing so: I have identified that one of my children is much harder for me to parent because they are so much like me. So at surface level that means they are strong-willed, indignant, dance to the beat of their own drum, want what they want when they want it, usually choose the path most cheeky, etc. All of which can be hard to parent at times but also amusing at others and essentially we try to celebrate the gift of…

To You and Me and All Of The People…

I want to be better at this. I thought I would be better at this. It sucks I’m not better at this. I know I should practice what I preach. I know wanting to be a “good Mum” makes me a good Mum. I know that I  should stand in front of the mirror and say “I AM good enough!” I know that each time I think the opposite I should counter it with a positive message but then (especially today) there is a voice saying “Not you..”, “That doesn’t apply to you…”. I thought that I would be an…