Posts Tagged‘Parenting by Connection’

This Is Not That

Ok, so I know by now you’ve received an email from every organisation you’ve ever come into contact with. Everywhere you go you there is no escaping this weird, scary situation we are in. Maybe a friend-of- friend’s-friend-who-is-a-Dr has had you either terrified with predictions and statistics or you’ve felt naively mollified by finding out that a cup of tea or coffee might be a cure for this thing. If only!!! Sure, you maybe have made a feeble attempt to override the scary news with the 7th, 21st or 42nd photo on all your friend’s phones. But it’s hard to…

Connection Anxiety

Choosing to parent differently is a big deal. Particularly if your parents or their parents didn’t do things the same way. Especially if others in your peer group don’t. It can feel daunting. It can feel hard. You can feel a very natural urge to resist it and look for any excuse to take what seems like the “easy road”. When I first started asking questions and trying to gain an understanding of “peaceful parenting”, I kept being told “It’s a connection problem…”, “Your child is not feeling connected…” and I would be so triggered. I wanted everyone to know…

Does Parenting This Way Scare You?

I must admit I still get a little nervous when I tell people I’m a parenting instructor. I mean, what on earth does that mean? Who do I think I am? Can you even have the answers to something so nuanced and changeable as parenting? And then this approach… it brings up so many different things from one person to the next. There’s a few who just embrace it, there’s a few who don’t want to hear a thing about it, there’s a few who totally misunderstand it and need a bit of help understanding, there’s a few who totally…

Connection Means Keeping The Connection Strong

(Not spending every waking minute with your child) When I was first led down the connected parenting path, I was feeling rather fragile. My dream of becoming a Mother had finally come true but I wasn’t as good as the super-nanny I had been. I wasn’t finding it easy at all and I had now come to this point which people were telling me was focal. They were saying we had to start “disciplining” our child as soon as possible. My child was 2 and I had absolutely no idea where to start. But it felt important. That’s what they…

On Losing and Failing

The main aim in this game for everyone seems to be to become a relatively “good parent” with the view of that then aiding our own kids in becoming happy, well-adjusted, loving and loveable humans. Right?! It’s an awful lot of pressure… right?! Sometimes it seems an unobtainable goal. And sometimes it seems like the most important thing you will ever do. And it IS. Which IS an AWFUL LOT OF PRESSURE! And sometimes it feels like you’re drowning… Sometimes it feels like you’re collapsing under the weight and the pressure. I’M collapsing under the weight and the pressure. And…

Back To School

So… I haven’t written in ages!!! Life got in the way. I found myself busy with so many different things and then the 6 weeks of school holidays came along and I was realistic about the reality there was no way I would get anything done! So here we are… back to school… Gosh! That means so many things for so many people. For me it means a much quieter house, lunches (oh how I hate lunches), alarms AND I-should-be-homeschooling GUILT! But jumping off on that last bit… I do also feel some relief (oh, no that brings more guilt…

Ok, So Now You Got Me Listening…

Listening Time is a concept that Patty Wipfler, founder of Hand In Hand Parenting has made a worldwide phenomenon. Basically, you find another adult to exchange non-judgemental, non-prescriptive, no-advice Listening Time with on a regular basis. I’ve covered this concept and how to find a partner here but there are so many directions in which to take this, so I’m going to outline some examples. The benefit of Listening Time is that we all have thoughts that need to be heard by an attentive ear and sometimes we have thoughts that we’d like to let go of, thoughts that are…

Why The Sims Ruined My Career But Made Me A Better Parent

It was the year 2001 and (as Mum had told me a THOUSAND times) it was time to “knuckle down and get focussed” on my HSC exams so I could become a Doctor or the like. After 11 years of tomfoolery I decided I could probably go several months of taking school seriously. Until The Sims came along. Suddenly my 20 minute study break turned into “just one more Sims day and I’m back to the books..” and those few times Mum found me hunched over the computer at 1am it was only because I was one promotion off my “Lifetime Wish”!…

Peaceful Parenting for Non-Peaceful People

I am quite a volatile person. I used to take a lot of pride in this but now it’s a daily tide I have to swim against. I am only 5’2’’ so perhaps it’s a mixture of small person syndrome and having a fierce and wonderful firecracker as my greatest heroine and role model (also known as my Mum) but I always wanted to leave that “Oh, don’t mess with her!” impression. I have always been great with kids and had a very strong connection to them so when I came across Peaceful Parenting, it sat beautifully with me and…

What is Staylistening?

“Sshh” “Don’t cry!” “You’re alright, buddy!” “That’s enough now!” “Come on… it’s not THAT bad!” “Chin up!” “Where’s that big smile?” “I’ll give you something to cry about!” Have you ever heard any of these? Ever said any of these? That’s OK… but I’m going to ask you now to try and stop. It turns out that crying is actually a good way of healing ourselves and that the people who know best what they need in terms of emotional offloading and stress-relief are our children. They come into this world with a very simple mechanism for offloading their stress…