Posts Tagged‘Parenting with empathy’

Mind Your Manners!

I think the biggest roadblock we face in parenting little humans is changing the mindset around how we think about children both individually and as a society. One of the most difficult boulders along the path is the concept of “control”. For years now we have received the message that we need to control children or get them under control and for most of us, this was the cornerstone of how we were dealt with as children ourselves. The reality is that we shouldn’t desire to control anyone. It’s an incredibly disrespectful approach to human connection and relationships. Whilst some…

On Losing and Failing

The main aim in this game for everyone seems to be to become a relatively “good parent” with the view of that then aiding our own kids in becoming happy, well-adjusted, loving and loveable humans. Right?! It’s an awful lot of pressure… right?! Sometimes it seems an unobtainable goal. And sometimes it seems like the most important thing you will ever do. And it IS. Which IS an AWFUL LOT OF PRESSURE! And sometimes it feels like you’re drowning… Sometimes it feels like you’re collapsing under the weight and the pressure. I’M collapsing under the weight and the pressure. And…

Can I Be Sh*t Today?

In this moment I feel low and lethargic and I don’t have the energy or the motivation to do anything. That’s ok… those feelings don’t stress me out like they used to. I know that the wave will pass and something better (or worse) will come in its place but I can get out, I won’t be stuck here. But then I have to parent. I have two little humans who will allow me to be crappy and crabby for brief periods but then they will demand more. I will demand more. So I want to take a little moment…

Why Me?

Before another uninhibited deep dive into my neurosis, I want to preface with the purpose of why I am doing so: I have identified that one of my children is much harder for me to parent because they are so much like me. So at surface level that means they are strong-willed, indignant, dance to the beat of their own drum, want what they want when they want it, usually choose the path most cheeky, etc. All of which can be hard to parent at times but also amusing at others and essentially we try to celebrate the gift of…

Ok, So Now You Got Me Listening…

Listening Time is a concept that Patty Wipfler, founder of Hand In Hand Parenting has made a worldwide phenomenon. Basically, you find another adult to exchange non-judgemental, non-prescriptive, no-advice Listening Time with on a regular basis. I’ve covered this concept and how to find a partner here but there are so many directions in which to take this, so I’m going to outline some examples. The benefit of Listening Time is that we all have thoughts that need to be heard by an attentive ear and sometimes we have thoughts that we’d like to let go of, thoughts that are…

The Worst Thing I Ever Did

I’ve gone on and on about Listening Time but I haven’t really gone into all the options for it (maybe a future post). One that I had heard of was connecting with what was happening in your life when you were your child’s age. Now I am very holistic and I love all things within that realm. I love a lot of people who work within that realm too but there’s also a skeptic in me (maybe also my husband’s influence) and I don’t love her voice but sometimes it gets very loud! So I have found myself feeling a…

I Don’t Want To Be An Expert (In My Own Home)

Recently I reached out to my beautiful tribe for a topic suggestion or a Q&A and got a little more than I bargained for. My reaction to the Q&A question was an immediate cringe, a guffaw and then a “How the heck am I gonna answer this one?”. The issue being that I struggle with the same thing! This blogging is a vulnerable business and even worse is me trying to label myself an *hushed whisper* “expert” I periodically find myself avoiding that word but also struggling for another accurate one and questioning myself big-time. I mean what right do…

Q & A: Parenting as a Partnership

Question: One thing that I need advice on is working better as a team with James. Because I spend the most time with Liam, I have ways that I do things, and I find when he is around that I tell him what to do a lot, and that makes him feel bad/inadequate/judged/not appreciated. I certainly don’t mean for him to feel that way, but I feel that unless he has a specific reason or particularly strong feeling for doing something a different way, he should respect that I have developed strong routines based on research and much time and…

Little People, Big Feelings

Today (due to reasons known to me) I am experiencing an overload of anxiety. I am not generally an anxious person, well at least I don’t think I am but the reality is I only just discovered what anxiety was a few years ago. Until then, I had all these weird feelings that I didn’t get. Sometimes I thought I was sick when I got an odd flutter or sharpness in my throat, I definitely thought I was sick when my stomach churned or I felt like I had to throw up. Other times I thought I might be experiencing…

Roughhousing

Hmm… you know the old “Do as I say, not as I do?”… I can be a bit guilty of that one! See, it’s been a long time since I was introduced to and began to fully understand the value of roughhousing. Since then I have been a strong advocate and it’s one of the first tools I recommend to parents asking for help with behavioural issues (particularly aggression) but recently I stopped focusing on it in my own home. I had excuses (don’t we always) – “Not enough time!”, “My son does this in his Special Time, anyway!”, “Not…