Posts Tagged‘Parenting with empathy’

You CAN Do This!

Wake me up when it’s over, right? We have started this year in the most surreal of ways and none of us can be sure what is next. It’s a really hard time for everyone and I can only guess this is why in wake of the unconscionable and tragic loss of George Floyd’s life, people are globally standing up and speaking out and heartily proclaiming that Black Lives Matter. As a person who identifies as black, this came as a shock to me. This has been an internal thing within my own household where I educate my own children…

Does Parenting This Way Scare You?

I must admit I still get a little nervous when I tell people I’m a parenting instructor. I mean, what on earth does that mean? Who do I think I am? Can you even have the answers to something so nuanced and changeable as parenting? And then this approach… it brings up so many different things from one person to the next. There’s a few who just embrace it, there’s a few who don’t want to hear a thing about it, there’s a few who totally misunderstand it and need a bit of help understanding, there’s a few who totally…

Connection Means Keeping The Connection Strong

(Not spending every waking minute with your child) When I was first led down the connected parenting path, I was feeling rather fragile. My dream of becoming a Mother had finally come true but I wasn’t as good as the super-nanny I had been. I wasn’t finding it easy at all and I had now come to this point which people were telling me was focal. They were saying we had to start “disciplining” our child as soon as possible. My child was 2 and I had absolutely no idea where to start. But it felt important. That’s what they…

Mind Your Manners!

I think the biggest roadblock we face in parenting little humans is changing the mindset around how we think about children both individually and as a society. One of the most difficult boulders along the path is the concept of “control”. For years now we have received the message that we need to control children or get them under control and for most of us, this was the cornerstone of how we were dealt with as children ourselves. The reality is that we shouldn’t desire to control anyone. It’s an incredibly disrespectful approach to human connection and relationships. Whilst some…

On Losing and Failing

The main aim in this game for everyone seems to be to become a relatively “good parent” with the view of that then aiding our own kids in becoming happy, well-adjusted, loving and loveable humans. Right?! It’s an awful lot of pressure… right?! Sometimes it seems an unobtainable goal. And sometimes it seems like the most important thing you will ever do. And it IS. Which IS an AWFUL LOT OF PRESSURE! And sometimes it feels like you’re drowning… Sometimes it feels like you’re collapsing under the weight and the pressure. I’M collapsing under the weight and the pressure. And…

Can I Be Sh*t Today?

In this moment I feel low and lethargic and I don’t have the energy or the motivation to do anything. That’s ok… those feelings don’t stress me out like they used to. I know that the wave will pass and something better (or worse) will come in its place but I can get out, I won’t be stuck here. But then I have to parent. I have two little humans who will allow me to be crappy and crabby for brief periods but then they will demand more. I will demand more. So I want to take a little moment…

Why Me?

Before another uninhibited deep dive into my neurosis, I want to preface with the purpose of why I am doing so: I have identified that one of my children is much harder for me to parent because they are so much like me. So at surface level that means they are strong-willed, indignant, dance to the beat of their own drum, want what they want when they want it, usually choose the path most cheeky, etc. All of which can be hard to parent at times but also amusing at others and essentially we try to celebrate the gift of…

Ok, So Now You Got Me Listening…

Listening Time is a concept that Patty Wipfler, founder of Hand In Hand Parenting has made a worldwide phenomenon. Basically, you find another adult to exchange non-judgemental, non-prescriptive, no-advice Listening Time with on a regular basis. I’ve covered this concept and how to find a partner here but there are so many directions in which to take this, so I’m going to outline some examples. The benefit of Listening Time is that we all have thoughts that need to be heard by an attentive ear and sometimes we have thoughts that we’d like to let go of, thoughts that are…

The Worst Thing I Ever Did

I’ve gone on and on about Listening Time but I haven’t really gone into all the options for it (maybe a future post). One that I had heard of was connecting with what was happening in your life when you were your child’s age. Now I am very holistic and I love all things within that realm. I love a lot of people who work within that realm too but there’s also a skeptic in me (maybe also my husband’s influence) and I don’t love her voice but sometimes it gets very loud! So I have found myself feeling a…

I Don’t Want To Be An Expert (In My Own Home)

Recently I reached out to my beautiful tribe for a topic suggestion or a Q&A and got a little more than I bargained for. My reaction to the Q&A question was an immediate cringe, a guffaw and then a “How the heck am I gonna answer this one?”. The issue being that I struggle with the same thing! This blogging is a vulnerable business and even worse is me trying to label myself an *hushed whisper* “expert” I periodically find myself avoiding that word but also struggling for another accurate one and questioning myself big-time. I mean what right do…