Posts Tagged‘Peaceful Parenting’

Why The Sims Ruined My Career But Made Me A Better Parent

It was the year 2001 and (as Mum had told me a THOUSAND times) it was time to “knuckle down and get focussed” on my HSC exams so I could become a Doctor or the like. After 11 years of tomfoolery I decided I could probably go several months of taking school seriously. Until The Sims came along. Suddenly my 20 minute study break turned into “just one more Sims day and I’m back to the books..” and those few times Mum found me hunched over the computer at 1am it was only because I was one promotion off my “Lifetime Wish”!…

Peaceful Parenting for Non-Peaceful People

I am quite a volatile person. I used to take a lot of pride in this but now it’s a daily tide I have to swim against. I am only 5’2’’ so perhaps it’s a mixture of small person syndrome and having a fierce and wonderful firecracker as my greatest heroine and role model (also known as my Mum) but I always wanted to leave that “Oh, don’t mess with her!” impression. I have always been great with kids and had a very strong connection to them so when I came across Peaceful Parenting, it sat beautifully with me and…

What Does Progress Look Like?

It’s really important to remember that children are always going to be led off-track. There are dysregulating experiences they face every day even if (and this is incredibly unlikely) both you and them have healed every earlier trauma/hurt you’ve experienced. Any activities outside the home (especially day care or school) will most likely cause them to experience social strain, witness or be privy to name calling or physical hurts, as well as any number of small confusions or painful interactions which add to a larger sense of uneasiness. I’m by no means suggesting we bubble-wrap our kids, I am just…

Taming The Tantrum

You’re in the supermarket and (despite the promise you make to yourself EVERY. DARN. TIME.) you have a child with you. It’s gone as well as could be expected. You’ve only said “No” 20 billion times and it’s been handled reasonably well. Then you see it but not before they’ve seen it too… in it’s characteristic red and white foil, right near the finish line… (completely intentional, of course) and Little One has grabbed it and even before the “No” comes out, they have started the tirade of insults and complaints and your face has already shown them the answer…

Pretext and the Big Metal Pole

I was recently at a parenting workshop with Dr Larry Cohen (more on that amazing experience when I feel like my feet have come back to touch the ground) and a story came to me. When I was around 15 I was babysitting for two kids I had never met and the little boy who must have been around 6 started chasing me with a huge metal pole. I have no idea how I diffused the situation but I remember as I was putting him to bed (I didn’t run out screaming, apparently) he suddenly burst into tears and said…

Special Time – The Great Cup Filler

If you’re a parent then you are probably always hoping for magical quick-fixes to any of your woes. Let me tell you about my number one go-to a.k.a. Special Time. Connection is the cornerstone to good relationships with your kids. Undesirable behaviour or limit testing is always due to an unmet need and (more often than not) a call for deeper connection. I know when this was first mentioned to me it REALLY teed me off! I mean, I was connected to my daughter… pretty much 24/7 and every time I was told my child needed more connection I got really…

Discipline and Little Humans

Don’t tell anyone but from the moment I got this gig, I’ve been desperate to make it easier! I launched into it armed with my years of nannying and thought “Sit back, everyone I’ve GOT THIS!”.. well, it turns out my gung-ho confidence made it about 10 times harder for me to accept that being a parent is tough! It’s beautiful and extraordinary but let’s face it, you are shaping a human being and you have to make massive decisions every day that may/may not impact their entire future. You have to do all of this sometimes on 2-3 hours…

Build A Village

Ok! That’s it! I am going to be a mediocre parent! Because that’s the problem, right? If it didn’t matter so much to me I would be able to just sort of coast through this parenting lark… Right now that doesn’t sound like too bad a thing. Have you seen that Jerry Seinfeld interview when he talks about “modern parenting”? He says it was easier before because they didn’t CARE so darn much! Now I know my parents loved me as much as I love my little beings. They actually did try to be more attentive than I suspect was the norm…